So Long and Goodnight MCR...

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

Friday March 22, 2013 |

Posted by: MCR

Being in this band for the past 12 years has been a true blessing. We've gotten to go places we never knew we would. We've been able to see and experience things we never imagined possible. We've shared the stage with people we admire, people we look up to, and best of all, our friends. And now, like all great things, it has come time for it to end. Thanks for all of your support, and for being part of the adventure.

My Chemical Romance

***

Sabtu pagi, 23 Maret 2013, saya baca kata-kata diatas itu. Awalnya saya tahu dari fanpage facebook My Chemical Romance Killjoys (MCRmy Indonesia). Mereka bilang MCR bubar. Hati saya langsung mencelos, berharap ini cuma berita hoax. Tapi ternyata media publik terkenal lainnya seperti Kerrang!, Alternative Press, Property of Zack juga bilang hal yang sama. Fanpage MCRmy Indonesia juga bilang kalau website official MCR sudah mengumumkan kalau mereka bubar. Terus saya chek sendiri, masih belum yakin dengan berita itu. And finally, tulisan itu beneran ada. Saya tambah pasrah. Kok rasanya sakit ya?

Saya gak tau mau bilang apa lagi. Rasanya gak percaya, dan sampai sekarang juga masih belum percaya kalau mereka bubar. Saya masih terus meyakinkan diri sendiri kalau mereka gak kenapa-kenapa. Masih mencoba yakin kalau ini mungkin cuma trik. Karena setahu saya, berdasarkan kabar terakhir, mereka sedang rekaman album ke 5, mana mungkin bubar? Mungkin cuma trik biar album mereka booming. Tapi ternyata saya salah. Mereka memang benar-benar bubar. Dan kami, MCRmy, Killjoys, Romancer, dan sebutan lainnya untuk fans MCR harus menerima itu. Mereka bubar.

Saya gak tahu apa sebabnya mereka bubar. Selama ini mereka kelihatan baik-baik aja. Memang waktu itu Mikey sempat ada masalah dengan relationship-nya, tapi hal itu gak mungkin jadi penyebabnya. MCR band yang dewasa, gak mungkin cuma karena hal ini, terus semuanya jadi memutuskan untuk bubar. Bahkan kabar terakhir yang saya dengar mereka sedang mengerjakan proyek album barunya yang ke 5. Makanya, waktu dengar kabar ini, saya dan tentunya MCRmy lainnya shock dan sangat berharap kalau berita ini cuma berita bohong.

***

A Vigil, On Birds and Glass.

I woke up this morning still dreaming, or not fully aware of myself just yet. The sun poked through the windows, touching my face, and then a deep sadness overcame me, immediately, bringing me to life and realization- My Chemical Romance had ended.
I walked downstairs to do the only thing I could think of to regain composure-
I made coffee.
As the drip began, in that kind of silence that only happens in the morning, and being the only one awake, I stepped outside my home, leaving the door open behind me. I looked around and began to breathe. Things looked to be about the same- a beautiful day.
As I turned to step back into the house I heard sound from within, a chirp and a rustle. And I noticed a small brown bird had flown into the library. Naturally, I panicked. I knew I had to see the bird to safety and I knew I had to retain the order of things in our home, and he very well couldn’t take up residency with us. I chased him (still assuming he was a he) into my office, where I have these very large windows.
Just then, and luckily, I heard Lindsey’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and naturally being composed as she is, she grabbed a blanket and stepped into the office. He was impossible to catch, and I began to open the windows, via Lindsey’s direction, only to find out they were screened. The bird began to fly into the glass, over and over and in all different directions.
Smack.
Smack.
Smack!
I heard another set of footsteps, Bandit’s, running down the stairs in anticipation of the new day. Her entrance into the situation caused just the right amount of chaos (she was very excited to meet the bird) and we found ourselves chasing the bird into the living room. Knowing that this where it could potentially get sticky, being the high ceilings and the beams to perch on, I opened the front door as Lindsey did her best to encourage our new friend out the door. After some coaxing, flying, chirping, a wrong turn back into the library and a short goodbye to Bandit, he simply hopped out the front door- taking off on the fifth leap.
We cheered.
I was no longer sad.
I didn’t realize it, but I stopped being sad the minute that bird had come into my life, because there was something that needed doing, a small vessel to aid and an order to keep. I closed the door. I decided to write the letter I always knew I would.

It is often my nature to be abstract, hidden in plain sight, or nowhere at all. I have always felt that the art I have made (alone or with friends) contains all of my intent when executed properly, and thus, no explanation required. It is simply not in my nature to excuse, explain, or justify any action I have taken as a result of thinking it through with a clear head, and in my truth.
I had always felt this situation involving the end of this band would be different, in the eventuality it happened. I would be cryptic in its existence, and open upon its death.

The clearest actions come from truth, not obligation. And the truth of the matter is that I love every one of you.
So, if this finds you well, and sheds some light on anything, or my personal account and feelings on the matter, then it is out of this love, mutual and shared, not duty.
Love.
This was always my intent.

My Chemical Romance: 2001-2013

We were spectacular.
Every show I knew this, every show I felt it with or without external confirmation.
There were some clunkers, sometimes our secondhand gear broke, sometimes I had no voice- we were still great. It is this belief that made us who we were, but also many other things, all of them vital-
And all of the things that made us great were the very things that were going to end us-

Fiction. Friction. Creation. Destruction. Opposition. Aggression. Ambition. Heart. Hate. Courage. Spite. Beauty. Desperation. LOVE. Fear. Glamour. Weakness. Hope.

Fatalism.

That last one is very important. My Chemical Romance had, built within its core, a fail-safe. A doomsday device, should certain events occur or cease occurring, would detonate. I shared knowledge of this “flaw” within weeks of its inception.
Personally, I embraced it because, again, it made us perfect. A perfect machine, beautiful, yet self aware of it’s system. Under directive to terminate before it becomes compromised. To protect the idea- at all costs. This probably sounds like something ripped from the pages of a four-color comic book, and that’s the point.
No compromise. No surrender. No fucking shit.

To me that’s rock and roll. And I believe in rock and roll.

I wasn’t shy about who I said this to, not the press, or a fan, or a relative. It’s in the lyrics, it’s in the banter. I often watched the journalists snicker at mention of it, assuming I was being sensational or melodramatic (in their defense I was most likely dressed as an apocalyptic marching-band leader with a tear-away hospital gown and a face covered in expressionist paint, so fair enough).
I’m still not sure if the mechanism worked correctly, because it wasn’t a bang but a much slower process. But still the same result, and still for the same reason-

When it’s time, we stop.

It is important to understand that for us, the opinion on whether or not it is in fact time does not transmit from the audience. Again, this is to protect the idea for the benefit of the audience. Many a band have waited for external confirmation that it is time to hang it up, via ticket sales, chart positioning, boos and bottles of urine- input that holds no sway for us, and often too late when it comes anyway.

You should know it in your being, if you listen to the truth inside you. And voice inside became louder than the music.

<At this point, I take a break to receive a visit from old friends, all of which were instrumental in some way to the beginnings of the band. We talk about the old days, and we talk about music, we talk about new things. We laugh and drink diet soda. We say goodbyes, I go to bed, to resume my letter in the morning, which is->

Now-
There are many reasons My Chemical Romance ended. The triggerman is unimportant, as was always the messengers- but the message, again as always, is the important thing. But to reiterate, this is my account, my reasons and my feelings. And I can assure you there was no divorce, argument, failure, accident, villain, or knife in the back that caused this, again this was no one’s fault, and it had been quietly in the works, whether we knew it or not, long before any sensationalism, scandal, or rumor.

There wasn’t even a blaze of glory in a hail of bullets…

I am backstage in Asbury Park, New Jersey. It is Saturday, May 19th, 2012 and I am pacing behind a massive black curtain that leads to the stage. I feel the breeze from the ocean find its way around me and I look down at my arms, which are covered in fresh gauze due to a losing battle with a heat rash, which had been a mysterious problem in recent months. I am normally not nervous before a show but I am certainly filled with angry butterflies most of the time. This is different- a strange anxiety jetting through me that I can only imagine is the sixth sense one feels before their last moments alive. My pupils have zeroed-out and I have ceased blinking. My body temperature is icy.
We get the cue to hit the stage.

The show is… good. Not great, not bad, just good. The first thing I notice take me by surprise is not the enormous amount of people in front of us but off to my left- the shore and the vastness of the ocean. Much more blue than I remembered as a boy. The sky is just as vibrant. I perform, semi-automatically, and something is wrong.
I am acting. I never act on stage, even when it appears that I am, even when I’m hamming it up or delivering a soliloquy. Suddenly, I have become highly self-aware, almost as if waking from a dream. I began to move faster, more frantic, reckless- trying to shake it off- but all it began to create was silence. The amps, the cheers, all began to fade.

All that what left was the voice inside, and I could hear it clearly. It didn’t have to yell- it whispered, and said to me briefly, plainly, and kindly- what it had to say.

What it said is between me and the voice.

I ignored it, and the following months were full of suffering for me- I hollowed out, stopped listening to music, never picked up a pencil, started slipping into old habits. All of the vibrancy I used to see became de-saturated. Lost. I used to see art or magic in everything, especially the mundane- the ability was buried under wreckage.

Slowly, once I had done enough damage to myself, I began to climb out of the hole. Clean. When I made it out, the only thing left inside was the voice, and for the second time in my life, I no longer ignored it- because it was my own.

There are many roles for all of us to play in this ending. We can be well-wishers, ill-wishers, sympathizers, vilifiers, comedians, rain clouds, victims-

That last one, again, is important. I have never thought myself a victim, nor my comrades, nor the fans- especially not the fans. For us to adopt that role right now would legitimize everything the tabloids have tried to name us. More importantly, it completely misses the point of the band. And then what have we learned?

With honor, integrity, closure, and on no one’s terms but our own- the door closes.

And another opens-

This morning I awoke early. I quickly brushed my teeth, threw on some baggy jeans, and hopped in my car. I gently sped down the 405 through the morning fog to a random parking lot in Palo Verde, where I was to meet a nice gentleman named Norm. He was older, and a self-proclaimed “hippie” but he also had the energy of Sixteen year old in a garage-rock band. The purpose of the meeting was the delivery of an amplifier into my possession. I had recently purchased the amp from him and we both agreed that shipping would jostle the tubes- so he was kind enough to meet me in the middle.
A Fender Princeton Amp from 1965, non reverb. A beautiful little device.

He showed me the finer points, the speaker, the non-grounded plug, the original label and the chalk mark of the man or woman who built it-

“This amp talks.” he said.
I smiled.
We got coffee, talked about gold-foil pickups and life. We sat in the car and played each other music we had made. We parted ways, promising to stay in touch, I drove home.

When I wanted to start My Chemical Romance, I began by sitting in my parent’s basement, picking up an instrument I had long abandoned for the brush- a guitar. It was a 90’s Fender Mexican Stratocaster, Lake Placid Blue, but in my youth I had decided it was too clean and pretty so I beat it up, exposing some of the red paint underneath the blue- the color it was meant to be. Adding a piece of duct tape on the pick guard, it felt acceptable. I plugged this into a baby Crate Amp with built in distortion and began the first chords of Skylines and Turnstiles.

I still have that guitar, and it’s sitting next to The Princeton.
He has a voice, and I would like to hear what it has to say.

In closing, I want to thank every single fan. I have learned from you, maybe more than you think you’ve learned from me. My only regret is that I am awful with names and bad with goodbyes. But I never forget a face, or a feeling- and that is what I have left from all of you.
I feel Love.

I feel love for you, for our crew, our team, and for every single human being I have shared the band and stage with-

Ray. Mikey. Frank. Matt. Bob. James. Todd. Cortez. Tucker. Pete. Michael. Jarrod.

Since I am bad with goodbyes. I refuse to let this be one. But I will leave you with one last thing-

My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die.
It is alive in me, in the guys, and it is alive inside all of you.
I always knew that, and I think you did too.

Because it is not a band-
it is an idea.

Love,
Gerard

***

Itu yang Gerard tulis di akun twitternya. Semakin membuat saya yakin kalau MCR harus berakhir disini. Saya memang sedih. Tapi kalau itu yang terbaik buat mereka, mau bagaimana lagi. Saya bisa menerima. Saya sudah tidak mencari dan mengira-ngira apa alasan mereka bubar. Biar mereka saja yang tahu. Saya yakin mereka sudah mengambil keputusan yang paling tepat.

Sebelum mereka bubar, mereka sempat merilis 10 buah lagu yang dimasukkan ke dalam EP Conventional Weapon. Itu karya terakhir dari mereka. Mungkin hadiah untuk MCRmy dari MCR.

So, here we go.
12 tahun mereka berkarya. 4 album. Puluhan atau mungkin ratusan karya yang mereka hasilkan. Jutaan fans di seluruh dunia. Dan mereka akan tetap di hati kami, MCRmy.

Thank you, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Ray Toro.
We'll always love you all.

My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die. 
It is alive in me, in the guys, and it is alive inside all of you. 
I always knew that, and I think you did too.

Because it is not a band- 
it is an idea.

-Gerard Way-  

Taman Mini bersama G-Force

Hahaha ternyata saya gak jadi ngikutin mas-mas yang di busway!
Libur 2 minggu malah gak ngapa-ngapain. Rencana saya buat ngikutin cowok itu juga batal, karena saya males hahaha :D

Jadi ceritanya tanggal 8 Maret kemarin baru bagi IP. Nah, unfortunately, satu orang temen kami ada yang harus pulang duluan :(
mungkin memang bukan jalannya disini. Ayu pasti bisa sukses di tempat lain :)

Sabtu kemarin, tanggal 16 Maret 2013, kelas saya, 1G jalan-jalan ke Taman Mini Indonesia Indah, buat perpisahan sama Ayu. Tapi ini bukan akhir, ini justru awal dari dimulainya hidup kita untuk mencapai apa yang kita inginkan.

Rencana awal: kumpul jam 6 pagi di halte bidara cina. Kenyataan: jam 8 baru pada kumpul!
Ampun deh, ngaretnya kebangetan!
Sambil nunggu yang belum datang, kita foto-foto dulu aja deh hehe :D

Oke, setelah semuanya lengkap, kita berangkat naik transjakarta. Pertama, naik yang arah PGC, transit di BNN terus naik yang arah Pinang Ranti, turun di halte Taman Mini. Lanjut lagi naik angkot.

Karena orangnya banyak, dan gak mungkin muat dalam satu angkot, akhirnya kita buat jadi dua kelompok. Tapi, ternyata dua kelompok ini masuk ke pintu masuk yang berbeda. Jadi, kita janjian ketemu di depan Keong Emas aja deh :)

Lanjut lagi, kita cari tempat yang adem, di bawah pohon, terus nyewa tikar. Istirahat dulu sambil foto-foto :)

 Kan kita berangkat pagi, jadi banyak yang belum sarapan, alhasil banyak yang kelaparan deh, makanya, acara selanjutnya itu makan-makan! Yeay! :D

Liat tuh, Hansen, motto-nya yang paling fenomenal: Predator Never Die! hahaha :D

Setelah kenyang, kita main games. Mulai dari lanjutin lirik lagu, tebak kata, sampai main Truth or Dare. Yang paling seru pasti main Truth or Dare, banyak rahasia yang terbongkar huahaha :D

Adit sama Theo mesra banget yaa :3

Terus, kita jalan-jalan, ada yang naik sepeda, ada juga yang naik mobil keliling. Kalau saya sih, naik mobil keliling aja, males naik sepeda, capek :p

Nah, ini nih, acara terakhirnya. Setelah semuanya kumpul lagi, kita ngasih hadiah buat Ayu, supaya Ayu ingat terus sama kita. Salah satu hadiahnya, kita buat video, nyanyi lagu Sempurna :)

Kita sama-sama berjuang ya, tapi di tempat yang berbeda. G-Force always love you, Ayu. Semangat ya! :D

Kau adalah darahku

Kau adalah jantungku

Kau adalah hidupku, lengkapi diriku

Oh sayangku kau begitu

Sempurna

Terrible Things

Hai J

Kali ini saya mencoba nulis cerita pendek. Cerita ini terinspirasi dari lagunya Mayday  Parade yang judulnya Terrible Things. Saya lagi main Plants VS Zombies, sambil nyanyi lagu ini, terus kepikiran mau bikin cerita. Serius deh, liriknya bagus banget!

By the way, ini cerita pertama saya yang saya buat. Sumpah, susah banget mikirnya! Berarti penulis novel hebat ya, bisa bikin sampai beratus-ratus halaman. Salute!

Saya yakin sih, cerita saya ini masih jelek banget. Tapi gak apa-apa, ini kan masih pertama, nanti saya mau belajar nulis lagi, biar bisa buat cerita yang keren J

Maaf ya, kalau gak dapet feel-nya v^^’

Terrible Things

Sore itu aku melihat anak laki-lakiku duduk di beranda rumah. Dia berusia 15 tahun. Dia duduk sendiri sambil tersenyum, entah memandang apa. Lalu aku menghampirinya.

 “Hei, Nak, apa yang kau lakukan?”

“Hei, Dad! Aku tidak melakukan apapun,” jawabnya sambil tersenyum memandangku. Aku duduk disebelahnya.

“Dad, aku rasa aku menyukai seorang cewek disekolah,” dia berkata sambil tersipu. Aku seperti melihat cerminan diriku sendiri beberapa tahun lalu. Aku persis seperti dia saat aku jatuh cinta untuk pertama kalinya.

“Benarkah? Seperti apa gadis itu?” aku bertanya kepadanya.

“Well, dia… cantik,” matanya menerawang membayangkan wajah gadis itu, dia tersenyum lagi.

“Saat seusiamu dulu, aku juga dulu pernah jatuh cinta. Mau aku ceritakan?”

“Tentu saja.”

***

Hari itu adalah hari pertama masuk sekolah setelah libur musim panas. Saat jam makan siang, kantin penuh sekali. Semua meja sudah terisi, banyak anak-anak yang bergerombol, kebanyakan sedang bercerita tentang liburan mereka. Beberapa teman yang mengenalku melambaikan tangan, mengajakku untuk bergabung. Aku menolak sambil tersenyum.

Aku memang pendiam, dan tidak suka keramaian. Jadi aku lebih memilih mencari tempat sendiri yang agak sunyi. Mataku berkeliling mencari tempat yang kosong. Nah, di ujung ruangan masih ada meja yang kosong, dan tidak terlalu ramai. Jadi aku berjalan ke arah sana.

Lalu, aku melihat dia. Cewek itu baru memasuki kantin. Dia berjalan bersama seorang teman perempuannya. Aku tidak tahu kenapa, tetapi tiba-tiba jantungku berdegup lebih cepat. Segera aku duduk di kursi yang terletak di pojok itu.

Aku suka matanya. Matanya berwarna biru, sangat jernih. Kulitnya pucat, dan pipinya merona. Dia kelihatan seperti peri. Wajahnya lembut dan menenangkan. Senyumnya… entahlah, aku sangat menyukai senyumnya.

Dia kelihatan sedang mencari tempat yang kosong, dan oh, tidak! Dia berjalan ke sini!

“Hei, apa tempat ini kosong?” dia bicara kepadaku.

“Yeah,” aku menjawab dengan canggung.

“Kami boleh duduk disini kan?” kali ini temannya yang bertanya.

“Okay.”

“Thanks,” temannya berterimakasih.

Aku hanya mengangguk.

Aku segera menghabiskan makananku, lalu langsung pergi dari situ. Aku tidak berani melihat wajah gadis itu. Ketika keluar dari kantin, aku tersenyum sendiri. Hatiku mekar seperti bunga mawar yang baru disiram. Rasanya senang sekali. Diam-diam aku berharap dalam hati, semoga besok bisa bertemu dengan dia lagi.

Kelas selanjutnya adalah kelas Biologi. Sebenarnya aku tidak terlalu menyukai pelajaran ini. Tetapi nilai-nilaiku masih termasuk dalam kategori lumayan. Tidak bagus, tapi juga tidak terlalu buruk.

Aku duduk di kursi baris ketiga, dekat dengan tembok. Kursi disebelahku masih kosong. Kurasa tidak ada yang mau duduk denganku. Aku kan pendiam, jadi mereka pasti menganggapku membosankan. Aku tidak keberatan dengan itu. Bagus.

Bel masuk berbunyi, guruku masuk ke kelas dan memperkenalkan diri. Lalu tiba-tiba ada yang mengetuk pintu dari luar. Dia cewek yang tadi di kantin. Setelah meminta maaf kepada guru biologi, dia mencari kursi kosong, dan akhirnya menemukannya. Kursi disebelahku. Hanya itu yang tersisa. Jadi dia berjalan ke arahku, meletakkan tasnya, duduk, lalu mengajakku berkenalan.

Dia tersenyum, lalu mengulurkan tangannya “Hei, namaku Amber. Siapa namamu?”

“Aku Adam,” aku membalas uluran tangannya. 

Jantungku serasa berhenti. Aku tidak percaya kalau kami sebangku.

Aku sesekali melirik wajahnya yang sedang memperhatikan guru biologi yang sedang menjelaskan. Dia cantik sekali. Beberapa kali dia sempat melihatku sedang memandangnya, tapi dia hanya tersenyum dan memperhatikan guru itu lagi.

Saat pulang sekolah, dia mengajakku pulang bersama. Kebetulan jalan menuju rumah kami searah. Aku tentu saja tidak menolaknya. Di sepanjang jalan, dia banyak bercerita tentang keluarganya, music favoritnya, dan hal-hal lain. Aku lebih banyak mendengarkan sambil memandanginya bercerita. Hanya menjawab seadanya jika dia bertanya.

Lalu dia bertanya padaku. “Kenapa kau memandangku seperti itu?”

“Tidak apa-apa,” aku bingung harus menjawab apa.

“Adam…”

“Ya?”

“Apa kau jatuh cinta kepadaku?” dia bertanya malu. Wajahnya memerah, tapi itu membuatnya semakin manis.

“Hmm.. Ya,” aku menjawab jujur.

“Benarkah?”

“Ya,” cuma itu yang bisa aku katakan.

Dia memandangku lekat-lekat, lalu tersenyum, “Aku juga jatuh cinta kepadamu.”

Astaga. Jantungku serasa ingin lompat dari tempatnya. Aku hanya bisa memandangnya, tidak mampu melakukan apapun. Aku bahkan tidak mampu berkedip. Aku takut jika aku berkedip, lalu semua ini akan menghilang, aku takut semua ini hanya mimpi. Tapi kemudian dia menggenggam tanganku, sangat erat. Tidak. Ini bukan mimpi. Ini nyata. Kami pacaran sekarang. Aku senang sekali. Aku balik menggenggam tangannya, lalu kami berjalan pulang dalam diam dengan senyum menghiasi bibir kami.

***

Hari demi hari berlalu, kami sudah lulus sekarang. Aku masih bersama Amber. Kami selalu melalui hari-hari kami bersama. Kadang kami bertengkar, tapi tidak akan lama. Kami sering menghabiskan liburan bersama, menonton DVD, jalan-jalan ke pantai, atau hanya diam memandangi langit di halaman belakang rumahnya. Aku tidak pernah bosan dengannya, dia sangat menyenangkan. Cintaku semakin bertambah setiap harinya. Aku selalu merindukannya.

Hari itu, seperti biasa, aku datang kerumahnya. Dan seperti biasanya pula, dia sudah menungguku di halaman belakang rumahnya. Kami duduk di bawah pohon willow besar yang sudah ada di sana bertahun-tahun lamanya. Malam itu Amber kelihatan cantik. Dia mengikat rambut cokelatnya jadi satu ke belakang. Dia memakai celana jeans dan kaus putih dengan cardigan warna soft pink.

Angin malam ini terasa lebih dingin daripada biasanya. Mungkin itu hanya perasaanku, karena jujur saja aku sangat gugup. Malam ini aku akan menyatakan sesuatu yang sangat penting.

“Kau kedinginan?” aku bertanya.

Dia menggeleng, memandangku sekilas, lalu memandang langit. Malam ini banyak bintang bertaburan.

Aku menggenggam tangannya yang terasa dingin, lalu dia menatapku. Aku mulai bicara.

“Kau tahu kan aku jatuh cinta denganmu sejak pertama kali melihatmu?”

Dia mengangguk. Wajahnya menunjukkan bahwa dia penasaran dengan hal yang akan aku katakan selanjutnya.

“Kau tahu kan cintaku bertambah besar setiap harinya kepadamu?”

Dia mengangguk lagi, sambil tersenyum. Senyum itu, senyum yang paling kusukai.

“Kalau begitu, tolong buka ini,” aku mengeluarkan sebuah kotak kecil berpita berwarna biru muda dari dalam kantongku.

Dia membukanya. Di dalam kotak itu terdapat sebuah cincin sederhana, tapi indah. Wajahnya tiba-tiba berubah. Ada sirat kesedihan disana.

Aku berkata pelan, tapi dia bisa mendengarnya “You know that I love you, so will you marry me?”

Aku menatap matanya lekat-lekat. Awalnya aku optimis dia akan menerima lamaranku. Tetapi sepertinya, ada yang salah di sini.

“Adam, aku sakit.”

Aku mengernyitkan dahiku, meminta dia melanjutkan kalimatnya.

“Aku… sakit. Hidupku tidak akan lama lagi,” matanya berkaca-kaca.

Aku masih memandangnya. Bingung dengan keadaan ini. Perlahan-lahan duniaku runtuh. Aku bertanya-tanya, bagaimana ini bisa terjadi?

Amber memegang bahuku. “Tolong jangan sedih. Kau adalah hal terindah yang pernah hadir di hidupku. Berbahagialah, Adam,”

Air mataku menetes. Aku memeluknya erat, aku sungguh tidak mau dan tidak bisa melepaskannya. Aku tidak mau kehilangan dia. She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Aku berjanji dalam hati tidak akan pernah melupakannya. Cinta pertamaku.

***

“Aku turut berduka, Dad,” dia memelukku.

Aku membalas pelukannya, dan berharap dalam hati, semoga Tuhan menunjukkan jalan yang berbeda untuk anakku. Aku tidak akan sanggup melihatnya hancur seperti apa yang telah aku alami dulu. Semoga kisah cintanya tidak seperti kisah cintaku.

Now son, I'm only telling you this...

Because life, can do terrible things

END

So, ini liriknya:

By the time I was your age, I'd give anything

To fall in love truly, was all I could think

That's when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams

The most beautiful woman, that I'd ever seen

She said, "Boy can I tell you, a wonderful thing?"

"I can't help but notice, you're staring at me"

"I know I shouldn't say this, but I really believe"

"I can tell by your eyes, that you're in love with me"

Now son, I'm only telling you this...

Because life, can do terrible things

Now most of the time, we'd had too much to drink

And we'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything

Too young to notice, and too dumb to care

Love was a story, that couldn't compare

I said, "Girl can I tell you, a wonderful thing?"

"I made you a present, with paper and string"

"Open with care now, I'm asking you please"

"You know that I love you, will you marry me?"

Now son, I'm only telling you this...

Because life, can do terrible things

You'll learn, one day, I'll hope and I'll pray

That God, shows you differently

She said, "Boy can I tell you, a terrible thing?"

"It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks"

"Please don't be sad now, I really believe"

"You were the greatest, thing that ever happened to me"

Slow, so slow

I fell to the ground, on my knees

So don't fall in love, there's just too much to risk

If given the choice, then I'm begging you'll choose

To walk away, walk away, don't let her get you

I can't bear to see the same happen to you

Now son, I'm only telling you this...

...Because life, can do terrible things

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