Whisper

I didn't remember exactly when it changed. He was my friend, but then he turned into someone else. I liked him, a lot. He liked me too. He asked me to be his girlfriend. I couldn't be more happier.

One night, when I was about to sleep in my bedroom, I heard someone tapped on my window. I held my breath, a little bit afraid. And there was a whisper, "Open the window, please. It's me." I recognized the voice. It was him. I jumped out of the bed, and open the window. There he was, standing with his perfect smile. I felt my heart skips a beat.

I asked him, "What are you doing?"

"I miss you," he answered.

Then I held his hand, led him into my room. We were lying down in my bed. Sharing pillow and blanket. I kept holding his hand. He held mine tighter. He told me that our hands fit together like puzzle pieces. I felt the same way about it, like they were made for each other. We were talking in whispers, didn't want to wake my parents up. That night, he went home at 4 a.m. There was a smile on my face and hundreds butterflies on my stomach as he was leaving.

***

Here came the other night. I lay myself in bed, reading a book. I heard footsteps. I knew it was him. He did this a lot, sneaking into my room, I mean. I turned over, so my back facing the window. I was pretending to sleep. I liked it when he came and found me asleep, he would whisper in my ears, waking me up and kiss my head. He opened the unlocked window. I never locked it since the first time he came. He walked trough the room, and then I could feel he slipped his body into my blanket. He thought I already fallen asleep. He put his arms around me. I was feeling warm and safe. He wrapped me tighter. I could hear his breath. He kissed my head, a soft and long kiss.

Then, he whispered, "I love you..." 

He was holding his words, and continued, "but I love her more."

I wish I misheard that line, but no, it was so clear. I really wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I wish he just left me soon so it didn't really hurt, but there was no sign that he'd leave. He still wrapped me with his arms, it's even getting tighter. This time, there were no butterflies, only storms and hurricanes. I loved him it hurts. I was trying my best to remember this moment, because I knew this would be over soon.

Miss You

I think I'm missing you a little bit. No, that doesn't mean I want you to come back. This is just a common feeling that everybody ever had.

Maybe I'm just a little bit lonely right now, so my mind keeps playing some good memories back when we were together. It was cute, really.

How is your life? Haven't heard anything from you for so long. I am safe and sound here.

Lot of things happened since then. I've moved on. Life goes on. But tonight, I don't know why I'm dying to talk to you. 

I woke up in the middle of the night, suddenly checking my phone, wishing there was a text from you, but nothing. I should have known, since we didn't talk again.

I miss the idea that you were always there for me. Every time I needed you, you were there. But now that you're gone, I think I should fix them up by myself. 

On the night like this, when everything is just so quiet, when you could hear the ticking clock, I used to be waiting for you, then we would stay up all night talking. We could talk about anything. Oh, how I miss those moments.

So, here I am writing this. Don't worry, I'll be fine. These I-miss-you stuffs won't last forever, it might be back later too, but these things won't kill me. It's bearable.

Image source here. Edited by me.

2nd Blogiversary!

Woohooo! Happy Blogiversary!

Ternyata udah 2 tahun lho usiamu :D

Maaf nggak ingat tanggal bikin blognya, cuma ingat bulan Februari aja hihi.

Makasih ya, udah jadi semacam tempat sampah buat saya. Walaupun jarang ngepost, tapi kamu membantu banget kalo saya lagi pingin curhat.

So, minggu ini saya lagi lumayan sibuk. Yah, berhubung PKL-nya kurang lebih satu minggu lagi, jadi agak ribet gitu. Saya bakalan ke Bandung! Yes!

Btw, minggu lalu setelah UAS kan saya libur. Nah, berhubung lagi malas baca, makanya saya ngehabisin waktu dengan nonton. Bukan di bioskop, cuma nonton film di laptop. Yang saya pilih untuk ditonton adalah serial Sherlock, soalnya itu file-nya udah di timbun dari jaman kapan tau, belum pernah saya tonton. Sampai akhirnya, setelah nonton, SUMPAH ITU KEREN BANGET!!! Iya, iya, saya telat baru nonton serial superkeren itu sekarang, padahal udah ada dari tahun 2010. Tapi mendingan telat daripada nggak sama sekali kan? Saya nggak bosan ngulang-ngulang lihat setiap episode-nya. Dan sekarang saya nggak sabar banget nunggu season 4 keluar! :D

Oh iya, saya lagi punya hobi baru juga. Nulisin quotes pakai tinta diatas kertas. Terus di tempel di dinding kamar. Lumayan lucu sih hehe. Nggak tau kenapa, lagi malas banget baca novel, nggak dapet aja feel-nya. Duh, padahal udah ketinggalan jauh dari jadwal reading challenge. Semoga aja nanti--entah kapan bisa kekejar lagi.

Nah, sekali lagi, selamat ulang tahun ya, blog. Nggak, saya nggak akan bikin janji buat lebih sering nulis disini. Tapi walaupun saya jarang ngepost, saya ngecek kamu hampir setiap hari kok. Semoga saya bisa nulis sesuatu yang lebih bermutu ya, nggak cuma ocehan-ocehan sampah kayak selama ini hehe :D

See you!

Picture taken from here. Edited by me.